If the Idea Just Won’t Quit Ya – Take Notice

If anyone’s been paying attention to my last few posts you would have noticed that I’ve been very introspective of late.  That’s usually what happens to me when I’m about to make a change or embark on a personal project. I have found that when unexpected and random events happen in my life and I take notice and then question why – I’m ready for my next chapter.

I have a friend who is a freelance writer and lives nearby. We frequently take long walks through the miles of preserved natural open land that lie within our community.  We are both creatives and we’ve discovered that it’s a wonderful environment for conversation and bouncing ideas off of one another.  On a recent walk I was talking about an idea that just won’t leave my head and another thought that’s just starting to morph into a more concrete plan.

At one point she questioned that perhaps I should segway the ideas into assignments from magazines or online publishers – like that would somehow legitimize my effort.  I told her that if I have an idea that I feel so strongly about that I’m ready to proceed on my own  – then I didn’t feel the need to get validation from someone else. That my passion for the subject matter usually carried me through and was all the validation I needed.

I’ve worked on a quite few personal projects over the years, both still photography and video as well as combinations of both.  There hasn’t been one project that hasn’t been rewarding on many levels. Of course there’s the personal satisfaction and growth that I initially receive.  And there’s the incredible feeling I get from knowing my work has touched someone or had an impact on them.  And there are always the residual rewards that lead to new connections and future projects or jobs.

Someone once told me “pay attention to those thoughts in your head that just won’t quit ya”. So I think I will.

Facing Our Fears

I read a post “Lessons from Childhood” by Judy Herrmann this week on ASMP’s Strictly Business Blog that really hit home.  She was talking about a children’s book that she was reading to her daughter that touched upon one of the universal themes of life – facing your fears.  The story talks about a young turtle with a cracked shell being reluctant to get an x-ray because it would show how scared he was inside. Dr. Bear assures him that bravery isn’t about fearlessness, but rather “doing what you have to do, no matter how scared you feel.”

I remember reading those same childhood tales to my own daughter when she was young.  And it reminded me of when she was in her sophomore year of college and headed to Santiago, Chile to study for 6 months.  I sensed she was anxious and afraid of the unknown – a perfectly natural response, and she was holding it inside. I asked her if she was afraid and she hesitated a bit, perhaps not wanting to show me her vulnerable side and she finally replied – yes, a little.  I told her that just about everything I’ve ever done that’s been most rewarding in my life – were the things that I was most afraid of doing.

I’ve spent a lifetime facing my fears and if I really break it down, I realize that what I fear most is the possibility of rejection.  That if I put myself out there, reaching down into my deepest self and presenting that to others and it wasn’t embraced, how devastated I would be.  I wish I could say that whenever I have faced my fears and put myself out there through my work or in my personal life that it always had a happy ending.  Quite honestly, for every step forward, there have been at least two steps back.  And like the turtle, I have taken solace and crawled into my shell at times.

Ultimately, though someone or something comes along that pierces that armor and I reach out – facing my fears once again.  And every so often I get rewarded in a million different ways.  That’s what keeps me going, what I keep my eye on – that even though the setbacks and rejections far outnumber the successes – they all play into making the triumphs that much sweeter and meaningful.

And so I face my fears and push myself over and over – seeking, exploring and never really feeling comfortable, even after all these years. But I know no other way, nor would I choose another way because it’s far scarier to live a life inside a shell.

The Power to Move and Influence

How often are we really moved in our lives by something we see or hear?  Whether it be a printed photograph, a film, a song or a book, I’m sure there are times we all recall seeing or hearing something that has really moved us.  Sometimes we’ve been moved to take action on something that’s been stirring inside us because those lyrics or visuals just won’t leave our heads.

These days we are so bombarded by “content” from every direction we turn that it’s hard to let anything sink in.  The message gets lost amongst the clutter of mediocrity. We get blinded by all the packaging and fizz and just don’t see or hear what people are trying to say – if they are saying anything at all. The human connections don’t seem to be made.

Last night I went to see Jackson Browne in concert.  I knew it would be an intimate experience because it was just Jackson playing an acoustic set  – no band  – just Jackson and the audience.  As I took my seat in the theater I saw the simple set on stage – one chair – one small table with a cup of tea on it – one amplifier, a keyboard and his guitars.  Granted there were 16 guitars for Jackson to choose from throughout the night – but ultimately it was about as simple and as basic as it gets.

I have been following Jackson Browne since his early days when I was living in California. I grew up with his music and lyrics over the years as it changed with the times and his own life’s experiences. I fell in love with his music and to his music.  I’ve been amazed and inspired by his incredible gift to connect with people on a very intimate and personal level.

As I looked around at the faces in the theater last night as he played in such a pure and simple way, I could see that I wasn’t the only one that had been taken to another place.  The women in the audience were in love with him and the men were in awe. We were with him the entire evening listening to every word and note.

As his music lingers in my head today, I can’t help but think about all the stories that are in my head that are dying to get out. I remind myself to pay attention to those stirrings because in my heart I know that those are the very thoughts that I need to listen to. The one thing that I’ve learned over the years is that the ideas that are closest to my heart are the very ones I need to act on because ultimately they will rise above the clutter and resonate with others.

Thanks Jackson for your inspiration.

Election Day – Is Anyone Paying Attention?

I’ve always loved Election Day.  It makes me feel like I have the power to make a difference because I know that just one vote can.  I’ll always vote in any given election – not just the Presidential election every four years – but even (especially) in my local election where often one vote has made the difference. I’m grateful that I live in a country where I have the right to vote and I hope I never take that “right” for granted.

When I was 18 years old I couldn’t vote.  The year was 1969; I had just graduated from high school and went off to college. It was a time of unrest and protest on college campuses because the Vietnam War was escalating and every day young men my age were dying.  Young men that couldn’t even cast a vote for their Commander in Chief because the voting age was 21 and they were too young.  Too young to vote but not too young to give their life for their country.  The voting age changed on July 1, 1971 with the Twenty Sixth Amendment to the US Constitution changing the voting age from 21 to 18 in response to the student activism against the war.

It’s hard to believe that change happened in my lifetime and even harder to believe that when my grandmother was in her twenties she couldn’t vote because she was a woman.  I will never take my vote for granted because I feel somehow it dishonors all the people who fought hard for that right. I also feel that apathy can lead to disaster.  Just look at history if you don’t believe me.

We all get caught up in living our lives and sometimes we don’t see the silent shifts of power. But if we’re not careful and aren’t diligent in protecting our rights – they will quietly go away without us ever noticing.  And it makes no difference what your political persuasions are. You have no right to whine about what you don’t like if you don’t vote.

I don’t want to be the one explaining to my grandchildren when they ask me why my generation let “whatever” happen – happen. I don’t want to be the one who says that I was too busy posting on my Facebook and didn’t take the time to go to the polls and vote.

Go vote today – it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

“You’re Only 25 And You’re Already Making Compromises?”

There’s a story that I love to tell because it explains why I followed the path I did – in my career and my life.

It was 1976 and I had just graduated from Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara, California.  I had my technically perfect portfolio and I was ready to set the world on fire.  My plan was to move back East, and pursue my dream of becoming a photojournalist.  That was where my heart was – “telling the story” through my images and I wanted to share those images through the pages of magazines. But even back then photo essays and the magazines that printed them were threatened by a bad economy and changing times. Look had just folded and Life was seeing its demise – the first time around.

Back then everyone told me that to make a living in photography you needed to get a studio and shoot commercially.  I bought into that, geared my first portfolio toward that and got a job assisting a commercial still life photographer.  But it didn’t feel right -it  wasn’t the right fit for me.  I had wanted to become a photographer to capture people and their cultures and what was going on in the world – not to shoot static objects in a New York City studio.

I had admired Jay Maisel’s work at the time, his eye for the detail and the streets of New York.  I decided to give him a call and ask if he had time to look at my portfolio and maybe give me a critique or some advice.  He agreed so we set up a time at his studio down in the Bowery. The late ’70’s was not a great time for NYC – economically speaking it was broke and Mayor Beame had just been turned down by the Feds for a bailout.  Just taking the trek down to that part of Manhattan at that time,  was an adventure in itself. Jay was a true pioneer in buying that old bank building back then. I’ll never forget the contrast between the graffiti covered exterior and amazing space inside.

Jay looked at every perfectly mounted print of technically perfect photographs and tossed them aside.  He looked at me and asked me if this was what I really wanted to do.  I started to go into a lengthy explanation of how I really wanted to be a photojournalist and proceeded to tell him all the reasons that I had given myself when I talked myself out of pursuing that dream.  And then I took out some snapshots of things I had shot on my travels before I even went to Brooks.  He looked at the images and told me that he could tell that this was what I should be doing.  And then he asked me how old I was.  I replied that I was 25.  He looked me straight in the eye and said “You’re 25 years old and you’re already making compromises?”.

It was a turning point in my life.  Every time I’m tempted to go off course, I remind myself of Jay’s words and I get back on track.

Tools of Change and New Distribution

Up early again, my mind restless and spinning with ideas, thoughts and reflections on last week’s Photo Expo in New York City.  Ironically this year’s Expo didn’t really reveal anything “new” for me in the way of new toys and tools of the trade.  What was new was the obvious absence of Adobe on the exhibitor floor – a sign of the economic times?  Or is it  a sign of how the photographic business is shifting – from professional to prosumer?

While in NYC I took time to see Robert Frank’s exhibition “The Americans” at the MET.  His beautiful images have stayed in my head and no doubt will provoke me to jump-start one of the many projects that continue to bubble to the surface in my mind.  But there was one thing I read in context of the exhibition and that was a statement made about the camera being a “tool of change” during Frank’s time. I started thinking about that and realize that the camera, whether it be a still camera or a motion camera is still a “tool of change”.  James Natchwey’s images are powerful examples of that.

What is radically different today is our means of distribution – of getting our imagery seen.  No tool has the power to make a difference or a change if what it creates is never seen.  I started thinking about the demise of newspapers and print in general and I was dismayed about the future and the still photos that may never be seen.

With the Internet and global distribution, the playing field has been leveled and democratized and anyone can share anything they create with the rest of the world – right?  Maybe not – because ultimately the web is controlled.  It’s controlled by what search engines find and how information is ranked. Listen to Eric Schmidt, Google’s CEO talk about the Internet of the future.  Even Facebook now is deciding which friends will see our news feed.  That default can be changed of course – but you have to be aware of it to change it.  How many of us are aware? And I mean that in the broadest sense, meaning aware of what and how our information is delivered.

All the “free” content we get these days over the web excites us all.  It’s great – but even free comes at a price.  I can only hope that future generations will understand the underlying cost of  “free content” and be aware of who is controlling distribution in this new paradigm.

Life on the Road and My Favorite Place

When I was a little girl my mom used to take my sister and I to Walgreens to get an ice cream sundae.  Back then, like other drug stores and five and dimes, you could get a bite to eat at the counter.  I had a game that I’d play every time we’d go.  I’d sit on the stool and spin myself around. I would assign exotic destinations to various landing spots that the stool would stop spinning – and determine that those were the places that I would travel to in my life.  I somehow knew back then that “the road” would become a huge part of my life.

Over the years people have asked me “Where is your favorite place that you’ve ever been?”. To be honest, I hated that question because I never had an answer.  There were too many places, all different in their own way that attracted me to them. And then about 10 years ago I had an assignment for Islands Magazine to cover the Isle of Man.

The island pulled me in from the start. I felt a strange sense of belonging, a connection that I couldn’t explain.  The air was cool and pure with a constant wind that blew across the island from one sea to the other.  It’s a small island located in the Irish Sea somewhere between Ireland and Scotland.  An island that’s reminiscent of Ireland 50 years ago – an island where time seems to have stopped.

Because the island is small, I didn’t feel the usual rapid pace that I have felt on previous assignments where I was given too much to cover and too little time.  I could linger and catch the moods of the island and the vibe of the people.  It was a magical place with open, cinematic vistas of a patchwork of every shade of green you can imagine, stretching from the barren upland’s to the blue of the sea.  The sea was always present.

There were secret glens with waterfalls and I thought that fairies must surely live there, somewhere beneath the ferns.  The island was enchanting on every level.  One day I came upon a crowd of people in a field.  I asked someone what was going on and they replied that it was a turnip weeding contest.  How wonderful I thought, a contest to weed a field.  I spent the morning caught up in the event, taking a few images, but mostly just talking with people and storing those conversations in my head.

And then like every other time I’ve taken to the road – my journey came to an end and it was time for me to leave.  There’s a legend on the island that every time the Queen of England comes to the Isle of Man (the island is an independent nation), the great god Mananan covers the island in a mist, so that she won’t find her way there and take the isle back.  The night before I left, a dense fog enveloped the isle and I thought the gods didn’t want me to leave – and I didn’t want to leave.  But the fog lifted and it was my time to go, but I knew that I finally had an answer to the question “Where is your favorite place you’ve been?”

Robert Frank, “The Americans” and The Road

I went to see Robert Frank’s “The Americans” this past week at the Met in New York City. I have always been a fan of Frank, not so much for his fashion photography but his photographic observations of “us” – us Americans, our culture at that time in our history.  He was an observer of “all” people not just the beautiful ones captured on the pages of Harper’s Bazaar, and he captured those observations for generations to come.

As I took my time looking at the prints and contact sheets displayed, I was able to get a glimpse of how he shot – what his camera lingered on and where he went from there.  I could see his thought process in how he made his selections, looking at the frames circled with his red grease pencil. I read his letters to his colleague Walker Evans, another favorite of mine and I got a much better sense of him as a person and photographer.  I watched an early video that he filmed and was amazed by how he pushed his own photographic boundaries into another medium.  The exhibition provided a wealth of insight and information on Frank, his project “The Americans” and a time in our country’s history – and I was captivated.

His images linger in my head and remind me of my beginnings in photography and “why” I became a photographer.  Like Frank, I’m an observer of all people, of cultures and use my camera as a means to capture my observations and share them with others.  My passion is rooted in my own personal road trips; I have taken over the years with my camera. It has triggered in me the desire to explore, to embark on another journey with my camera and see where it takes me.

I’ve spent a career and a lifetime “on the road”, always the traveler, observing and capturing the daily lives of others – not the famous, but the common man.  Not the horrific, the outrageous, the exotic for those reasons  – but because they’re part of the world I live in.  My hope is that I the images I leave behind, will provide others a glimpse of that time, that space, those lives that I stumbled upon during a lifetime spent on the road.

Technology News – New Video Cameras Announced

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I’m not one to get overly infatuated with the “tools of the trade” – but this week a few new cameras and upgrades were announced.

Sony announced two new cameras the PMW-EX1R – a revision of the EX-1 and the PMW-350 with a 2/3” chip. Redesigned viewfinders on both cameras make them attractive upgrades but there are many other added features as well.

Canon announced that it is currently developing a firmware for their hybrid camera – the EOS 5D Mark II enabling the camera to record at 24fps, obviously responding from user feedback.

Canon also announced their latest still camera (that also shoots video) the EOS 1D Mark IV.  The sensor however, is a non full frame but the autofocus system has been totally revamped.

All for now as I am headed into New York for Photo Plus Expo, where I’m sure to see more new toys.  More later.

Converging Technologies and Photo Plus Expo 2009

I’ve been attending the Photo Expo for as long as I can remember, back when it used to be at the old Convention Center at Columbus Circle.  It changed over the years, growing in size, moving to Javits and now shrinking, taking up ½ the floor space it used to.  That could be yet another sign of the economy, or how the photographic industry has changed over the years – or both.

This year is the first year there will be a Video Pavilion, where manufacturers can showcase their products and attendees can get a glimpse of how the converging industries of photography and video continue to change the paradigm of how we deliver our visual message.

Another profound change on the floor this year is the absence of the Adobe booth.  I can’t remember a time when Adobe has not been an exhibitor at Photo Expo.  Has the economy played a part in that – or is it another sign of changing times in the photography business?

It will be interesting this year to observe who is exhibiting and what the new “cool” tools are?  Like last year when Canon displayed their first hybrid camera the 5D – a still camera that also shoots video – their booth, along with Nikon will be the “main attraction”. Video continues to be the hot topic.

Gone are the manufacturers of lab equipment, along with the last vestiges of film. Gone are Apple and Adobe – maybe next year?  Or will next year look more like NAB”s (National Association of Broadcasters) show in Las Vegas as we continue to move from ink and print to electronic delivery?