Don’t Re-Invent Yourself

I’ve come to hate the expression “re-invent” yourself.  It’s not only become a bit trite, but it’s caused a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

If one feels that they need to do a makeover, he/she is often coming from a place in one’s life where they feel they have failed.  They may be at a low point in their life, either financially or emotionally and they have the desire to become someone else.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps we all have it wrong.  I don’t think we need to abandon who we really are and try to become someone we aren’t.  That never works. Creatively speaking, whenever I have approached my work as in need of a “makeover”, I have fallen victim to trends.  We all do I suppose, in an effort to “look current”.

That may work for a while, at least financially speaking – but then again maybe not.  I think my best work has come from my true self.  It’s pure but it can be raw. It’s what I just can’t stop myself from doing.  That is what resonates with others.  I think that happens when I am very clear on my vision. It affects people in a primal, yet subtle way.

Maybe we shouldn’t try to re-invent ourselves. Maybe we should just listen to who we really are and trust that voice.

More Stuff I Learned While Making a Movie

The day finally arrived – our first screening of Opening Our Eyes – a film that I have poured my heart and soul into over the last year and a half.  Sounds like a cliché, but this project has consumed me in every way imaginable – good and bad.

As I looked up at the marquee of the State Theater in Traverse City, MI last Sunday morning, it hit me – we had done it.  My daughter Erin and I had set out to make a film last Spring about people all over the world who were making it a better place – and we did it.

It was and will continue to be a lot of work – a lot more than I ever could have imagined.  There have been some of the lowest of lows and the highest of highs along the way.  There have been times of disappointment from unexpected sources and times of encouragement and support from remarkable people who came into my life because of this project.

I have learned so much since embarking on this journey – here are just a few things:

Believe in your dream.  Lots of us have dreams but most of us don’t really believe in them.  I think that makes all the difference as far as making your dream a reality – the ability to believe that your dream will happen.  I have felt that this would happen from the first moment that I conceived the idea – I saw it – I heard it – This idea picked me – not the other way around.

Trust – I knew all along that for this film to be what I had envisioned it to be – I couldn’t do it alone.  It could only succeed through the support  of all the people who have contributed to this project from the beginning, whether by supporting it financially or just by being there  for me to spring ideas off of.  I really had to open myself up and trust that would happen  – and it did.  That’s not to say that I haven’t had my share of disappointments along the way, but I had to get past them and then learn to trust – again.

Work with people who share your vision.  I used to think I could edit.  but after working with my brilliant editor, Erik Freeland – now I just think I’m a hack.  Finding Erik was a blessing.  It’s not all that hard to find a good editor,  but to find an editor who has the same drive and passion as I do for what this film is or can be – is a rare gift – and I know that. There have been a handful of times in my life, when this serendipity has happened and sometimes, I’ve been too busy to take notice – but this time, I not only took notice – I welcomed Erik’s vision.  Because I was open to what Erik could bring to the film – it’s so much stronger.

Friends – As much as I know that I should never do anything for the sake of other people’s approval, there is always a part of me (my ego) that surfaces and seeks that approval or validation.  Funny thing is that when you create something that is coming from such a sincere place in your own heart – a project that you’re so passionate about – people come into your life because of it.  They are drawn in by your own enthusiasm.  So when others, disappoint you or even take no notice at all – you realize their approval doesn’t really matter.
Chris Guillebeau has a wonderful blog post about this.

Feedback – One reason I had a couple of sneak previews this past week was to solicit feedback.  When I get consumed with the mechanics of making a movie, especially the editing of the movie, I often get caught up in the nit picky stuff, (which is very important) but I need to step back and digest it as the overall movie.  It’s tough when I’m so close to it, so I always solicit other’s input. I know I can’t accommodate everyone’s suggestions because I’d end up with a big mess if I tried.  Some comments ring true and I may take them to heart, while other comments aren’t really along the same line of my thinking,  so I discount them.  Some people’s comments are brutal and cut deep, but after I get past the initial hurt, I realize sometimes, that the comments that cut deepest are the one’s that strike closest to the heart of the matter – and my inner voice takes notice.

Overcoming resistance – The most important thing of all.  I did what I set out to do and that is to make a film that will motivate others and move them to action. During the first Q&A last week, a man stood up and thanked me for making the film.  He told me that he hadn’t even intended to see a movie that morning – he had been looking at the posters announcing the lineup for the TC film festival this week and saw the marquee and came in.  He told me that it changed his way of thinking – that it changed his life.  And then he told me that I needed to screen this film for as many people as possible.  That’s my ultimate goal – to share this film with others – and if one person in every audience reacts that way – well what more could I ask for?

This film may not be perfect and it may not be for everybody (certainly not the cynics), but I did something a lot of others never do – I executed my idea – rather than give myself lots of goods reasons why I couldn’t.   I could cite plenty of reasons right now that could have or should have stopped me in my tracks.  But I didn’t stop because I had such a strong belief in this dream – I saw it too clearly.

Whenever I pull back from my dreams and succumb to my own resistance, I stop and think about a line from a Joni Mitchell tune where she writes about old friends being “cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark café”.  I stop and I think about that. I sure don’t want to end up being one of those people who piss away their own life by passing judgment about other people’s efforts or causes. And then, I get out and do something.  That’s how I’m making a difference.

Google,Licensing,Copyright – and Free

I got this email the other day. A couple of weeks ago, Tom my partner got a cease and desist from Getty and an invoice for uploading his own images on the ASMP NJ Chapter website because the Picscout robots had picked them up, which is now owned by Getty.

The business of photography has changed because of the Internet in terms of value, licensing, awareness of copyright and all of the above.

I have posted the letter below for discussion and open dialog- please no rants or whining allowed.

Dear Ms Mooney,

I’m not sure if I am contacting the right person, however I am small custom home builder on the Jersey shore in Xxxxx near Atlantic City.  My wife downloaded a picture of a South Jersey beach scene from Google about a year ago and put it on my web site.  She unknowingly downloaded a picture that was copyright protected.  Today, July 15, we received a letter from xxxxxx a company that protects your work and they informed us that we used your picture and wanted 3000.00 to rectify the situation or buy the licence for 1020.00 we settled for the 1020 and took your picture down.

This picture was not a glamorized picture of a beach.  Just a dune and a dune grass fence.  A picture that could have been taken by anyone in South Jersey.  I just wanted to let you know that if this is your picture, it is dispicable that common, decent and hardworking people who have a small struggling business should be subjected to such a ridiculous fine.  The fact that we cannot google and download a beach
scene without worrying that someone OWNS it is outrageous.
Imagine that!  People own pictures of nature!

If this is not you, then my sincere apology, otherwise I think you should be ashamed of yourself and need to contact Google for having your picture available to millions of people.

Regards,

xxxxxxx

How to Deal with Criticism

As I get ready to show a sneak preview of my film Opening Our Eyes this week in Traverse City, Michigan, I do so with excitement – but also trepidation.  I have to be prepared for whatever the response and feedback might be.  Most likely, it will be a mixture of praise and criticism – and everything in between.  I also know when taking a chance and entering into new territory – like making a feature film – I open myself up to both positive and not so positive thoughts and comments.

It’s not easy to accept criticism, yet I have found that if I stay true to what it is that I am trying to accomplish and put the criticisms and comments in perspective – I’m far better off.

I try to keep the following things in mind:

Not to take harsh comments personally.  This is tough, because let’s face it when you’ve put your heart and soul into something, it can be very hurtful to hear unkind comments and criticisms. Since, I have made my life’s work – my life’s passion – there’s a fine line between the personal and the work. So I remind myself to think of all criticisms as related to my work.

Consider the source.  I try to remember that this is just one person’s opinions and even if that person is an “expert” or think they are – their perspective can be coming from a whole different place than what I had envisioned.  I’ve also found that many times, the worst criticisms come from people who may have their own issues they are reflecting on.

Step back and think before reacting.  I have learned “to be still” and to take time to digest all comments before reacting positively or negatively to them. Many times harsh words need to be heard – and can be the push I need to make “it” better.  Then it’s up to me to decide if I should respond to those comments and incorporate those suggestions into whatever I am creating – or not. In the past, I have made the mistake of taking everyone’s helpful comments and suggestions to heart, only to end up with a big mess that’s neither “here nor there”.

Trust my instincts. I try to keep in mind that I need to stay true to my own vision. If comments and suggestions are helpful in guiding me there – then I take them to heart. There are times when even though I know the message or story that I want to tell – I need guidance on how to do that.  So, I try to consider all feedback, but to keep it in context with my own vision.

Remind myself that I have done something. This is the most important thing of all – to remind myself that even though what I have created is not perfect – I have done what a lot of others never do and that is bring my idea to reality.  Many times the harshest critics are people frustrated that they have not overcome their own inertia.

Steven Pressfield writes about resistance and criticism in the The War of Art:

“ If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.

Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement.  Watch yourself.  Of all the manifestations of “resistance” most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well.”

Ten Things I Learned While Making a Movie With a DSLR

1. It will take twice as long as you think. This is especially true if you have a limited budget. With a limited budget comes a smaller crew and therefore you need to do a lot more of the work yourself – if you can.
2. It will take more money than you think. Everything adds up. There are a lot of costs in post-production – licensing music is a big one and a feature film needs lots of music – and having the sound professionally mixed, makes all the difference and is well worth the money – so anticipate that cost.
3. If you need to transcode files for your editing application – then make that the first thing you do. In fact, I used the Log and Transfer plug-in on Final Cut Pro to do a pre-edit on all my clips as well as add  metadata to the files.
4. Hire a professional editor. Smartest thing I did. I raised funds on Kickstarter so that I could hire a pro. I know how to edit – or at least I thought I did – till I worked with a professional editor. My editor crafted the story and cut it like a musical composition with beautiful timing and rhythm.
5. You will need twice the memory or drives than you thought you would. Even, when working with a professional editor – in fact because I was collaborating with an editor, we had duplicate projects and media on 3 – 2 terabyte drives each!
6. Stay focused on the story. Don’t even go into the editing room without a clear idea of what story you want to tell.
7. Define your target audience. Iit’s important, especially in terms of how you want to craft the story and the rhythm of the piece.
8. Plan ahead as far as screenings or putting content online. Many film festivals have strict guidelines about previous screenings, premiers etc. I wanted to show my film on a big screen, but I couldn’t have it open to the public or charge money, so I opted to have an “invitation only” event and called it a “sneak preview”. Test screenings are done all the time with studios. It gives you a chance to get feedback.
9. Utilize social media. Have a website for the film and a fan page on Facebook.
10. Don’t try to be what you’re not. And don’t try to be all things to all people in your film. Stay true to your vision. Push yourself to try new things. Go with your gut.

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Fear of Failure – Fear of Success

Which is it? Which one of these paradigms rules your own behavior? If you are like me, then it’s a little bit of both.

Lately, I think I’ve been leaning more toward fearing success – than failing. I don’t usually contemplate my fears – most times, rushing into the unknown like a young child. I think that’s my inner voice that is calling and I blindly follow. And when I do follow, good things happen. And that’s when I start to get afraid.

Odd isn’t it – being afraid when things are going as I planned, even as I dreamed. I guess for me, fearing success stems from my own lack of self-confidence and questioning myself “Am I deserving of these good things that are happening in my life?

If I stop and think about it – that it was my hard work that led to those “good things” – then I’m OK. But when hard work comes from a place of passion, deep within me, I lose sight that it is work at all. Sure, there are days when things overwhelm me and days when everything I do seems to “fail”, but mostly my work is my joy.

The only thing I really fear is to wake up one day and not feel joy in what I’m doing. I hope that if that happens, I face my fears and change things.