I see it everywhere – people reacting – frozen by their fears. And it seems to be catching. That’s because fearful people like company. Somehow they feel that if they can get others to bind with them in spreading their doom, that their own fears and trepidations will be validated.
People are so angry these days because their world is changing and they feel threatened. I see it in government where the tone these days is angry – full of hatred and fear and more time is spent pointing the finger of blame at others than in coming up with solutions to problems.
I see groups and organizations taking on a “we versus them” insular attitude, thinking that somehow by keeping people out of their exclusive group – they will have more for themselves.
I see relationships where one person may feel threatened or insecure and tries to exclude other people and relationships from their insular lives. They foolishly believe this will make their relationship stronger – the two of them against the world so to speak.
I understand why the fearful act this way. Somehow they think that if they can convince others to go along with them in their pursuit of eliminating competition or outside influences– they will receive more. But it doesn’t work that way. It never has and it never will. The simple reason is that people who spend their time telling themselves and others what won’t work or focus just on themselves, instead of embracing others and being open to possibilities, become insular and ultimately create their own demise. They are bringing nothing positive into the world – no motivation for growth – only reasons why they should stop themselves. They predict the future in negative ways and in the process create that reality and then say, “see I told you”.
The group that tries so hard to keep things the same and feels threatened by newcomers ultimately becomes a group of old thinkers who die out. The person who attempts to gain more attention from their mate by keeping them from their friends and outside interests, soon finds out that doesn’t bring them more attention, but rather resentment because it’s unsustainable.
There have been times in my life that I’ve been sucked into these negative mindsets and I can tell you that not only it didn’t bring anything good into my life – it kept good out. These days, I have been giving more of myself. I have been getting out there and meeting people, sharing with people and I’m finding out that in the process, I’ve gotten a lot more in return. But I don’t give with the expectation to receive in return – I give because in the long run, everyone benefits.
We become stronger when we allow others in our lives to give to and to learn from. We should strive to allow people in our lives who want us to succeed, because those people understand that in helping and supporting us in turning our dreams into reality – they are also creating a better environment for themselves. And when a couple understands that when they love their mate enough to let them and their spirit soar by not manipulating or placing restrictions, their relationship will ultimately get stronger and will stand the test of time.
Think about this today. What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want a life of possibilities or one of predictable doom by keeping your “community” narrow and insular? You never know – that person that you decided to exclude, may have been the one who could have changed your life – in a positive way.